it hasn't been long 
since you left
i still sense your presence 
in every step 

memories of the times
you held my thighs and 
i still feel your eyes on me as i undress 

you appear sometimes at the corner 
but always escaping, before i have the time

i long to once again suffer your love
your hands, around my neck 
my fondness for agony caused by you 

This is Aneesha

Energetic, carefree and open minded are the first words that pop into my head at the sound of her name. She's the most approachable person I know, and someone who gets along with anyone and everyone. Her extraordinarily large personality can come as a shock to many who've been deceived by her innocent petit figure and shy smile. Her spirit is strong and contagious, and there is not a single second I spend with her where I'm not cheerful or lively. I've always said that one of Aneesha's best qualities is that she's a great listener. She's someone I can just sit down with and rant to, and she'll just be there to listen to it all, and so it happens that she knows me the best. In my 16 years, I've never felt more comfortable in anyone's company. Her accepting mindset makes those around her, feel secure and welcome. There aren't many people in the world like her and that is what makes her so cherishable. 

This is her, this is Aneesha. 

Makeup: Glorious technicolour. 

In my eyes, Aneesha can only be expressed through a range of colours. She can't be described as something singular because she posses so many qualities and aspects of personality and traits. For her look I used only the brightest of colours, really focussing on the intensity and how much they stand out as I think this is the only way I'd do Aneesha's distinctive identity some justice. The bright colours not only represent her glamour but also her individuality and eccentricity.  Aneesha, I feel is a dare devil and though this look I think that is evidently expressed.  The not-so-usual colours speak for her peculiarity and uniqueness.

As the first day to year 12 approaches, I crave to create. My desire to try out something new heightens, and I regain the confidence I had lost a few months ago. I strive to achieve my ambitions. I tackle down my insecurities and worries and eagerly reach out to those who can help me establish my goals. I've decided to start a new this series on my blog and YouTube with my friends.

Check out the video I made along the blogpost!

Something new

I've been faced with what I think you'd call a 'writer's block'. 

Google search: Writer's block is a condition, primarily associated with writing, in which an author loses the ability to produce new work, or experiences a creative slowdown. The condition ranges in difficulty from coming up with original ideas to being unable to produce work. 

Although I wouldn't consider myself a 'writer', it is my main form of expression to many people over the world, through this blog. I seem to lack the motivation and creativity to write about anything at this point because everything seems like it's been done before, resulting in a loss of self expression for a few months, which drove me insane. 

However, to be a little cheesy and to quote a famous idiom- every cloud has a silver lining - I found that although writing is what I'm used to, and what I consider to be my most preferred form of expression, there are more outlets and platforms that I can experiment with. And that although I might feel that writing isn't really working out for me at this moment, it doesn't have to mean that I limit myself to what I'm comfortable with or completely block myself off from trying new things out, and rather that I should look at this 'writers block' as some time away, like a vacation to try something new out. And so I decided to finally give YouTube a go. 

I've always wanted to try and make YouTube videos, but I've always put it off. My lack of proper equipment has always been my excuse, and it has held me back for so long. But yesterday something sparked inside of me, and suddenly the absence of a huge camera and artificial lighting seemed to not be of concern anymore, and I created a short video. 

I think I've realised that I need to do things, because I enjoy them, and not because I want to impress others or to get anything out of them. The sheer joy I got by filming, editing and publishing this video put me over the moon. I realised that fear of failure needs to be set aside, and that there is nothing you can do about people's negative judgements of you. 

What I worry about the most is that people will feel I'm competing against them or stealing their ideas/ spotlight, that what brings me joy, will eventually become something that I am teased about or something that will be used as a weapon against me to put me down.
But what can you do about it? I can either live in fear and never step out my comfort zone and waste all that potential or I can accept myself, my strengths and my creativity and I won't need to prove anything to anyone. 

I've linked my video below and I would really appreciate if you gave it a watch, liked it and subscribed to my channel, and leave feedback on the comment section. I want to thank all my blog readers for all the support on here, without which I wouldn't have gained the confidence to try out something new. Your comments and feedback are always so uplifting and they encourage me to keep doing what I love. Thank you.

2016 Favourites

2016 flew by, leaving little time for contemplation and logical thinking before doing anything, but it's made this year so special. There was a lot of stuff that went down this year, but because of it I can say that has probably been my best year so far. I grew so much and I learnt so many things, from who my true friends are, to who I am, and what makes me happy. I am by no means at a conclusion to the answer about 'who I am', but I think I'm a step closer, and it's comforting. This year brought along many difficulties and obstacles, but it's what led me to becoming this person I am right now.
I'm endlessly grateful for the amazing people in my life, those who support me and want to see the best in me. I'm thankful for all the opportunities this year had brought along and also all the not-so-great things I've had to deal with that made me a more tolerant and stronger person.

Now for the favourites...

1. Body mist
I think it's safe to say that the Victoria Secret Pure Seduction Body mist has won the 'best smell award'. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever love a smell more. In my opinion it's very alike the Justin Bieber perfume (that I mentioned in my 2014 favourites) but it a lot lasts longer, and the scent is much stronger. I the have a mini size version of this, making it perfect for travelling with!

2. Headphones
I think headphones are a must on long journeys, they cancel out other noises and help you zone out. I initially wanted something really big and bulky, but after having a look at some, I settled on these Philips medium sized ones, which I'm quite glad about. 

3. Bag
I bought this before my Sydney and Canberra trip. I absolutely love the colour . It adds a nice pop to any outfit, monochromatic or not. It's very light weight and simple, great for daily use. I had heard great stuff about Crumpler, and now after experiencing their product myself, I totally agree. 

4. Dusk cactus candle
I cannot keep a plant alive to save my life, but I love the look of plants in a room and so this came along as a perfect substitute. I have yet to burn it, but I don't actually think I will. It's just too pretty to watch melt away. 

5. Denim jacket
The denim jacket was a huge trend in 2016, and became a staple in many people's wardrobes. I'm  personally quite fussy with my clothes, as I don't like them to be itchy, rough or stiff. I need clothes to be comfortable and soft and easy to move in. And this became the reason as to why I never got into wearing denim jackets, until recently. I came across this one in Rivers, and for a low price of only $20, it met all my needs, I'm very chuffed about this purchase. 

6. Model Co trio
This came in the Model co. show bag I bought last year. for the annual Perth Royal Show. I didn't really experiment with it until a few months back, but holy crap I absolutely love it! As someone who's not good with makeup and has minimal interest in it, this product really surprised me. It's basically a pigmented cream, which I think really compliments my skin tone. Out of the three colours, I tend to use the brown one the most, as an eyeshadow base, as well as the cream colour for inner corner highlight. 

7. Chi Chi Spices palette
I had an urge to try out the red eyeshadow trend that seems to be everywhere. Regardless of the fact that I have no makeup skill, I gave it a go, and ended up absolutely loving it! I think this palette, again, really complements my skin tone and the colours are highly pigmented and easy to work with making it great for a beginner! It also works very well the brown shade for the Model Co trio. 

8. Benefit Roller Lash mascara
I'm not a big fan of mascara in general as my eyelashes are really sensitive and and tend to fall off easily, but when I have a special event to attend and want to put some extra effort in, I've been reaching out for this mascara. It's unique wand does a great job of really lifting the eyelashes and proving length and volume!

I found his music through sunbeamjess' vlog channel where she often uses his music in the background. My favourite songs are- Alive and Do you go up. Pleasing my need for sad, slow music.

Parks, Squares & Allyes
One of most relaxing songs I've heard is from them. It's mostly music over lyrics and it's very comforting. I adore every single song from their album but top 3 would have to be - Carnival, Forest and Youth. I would call this type of music the most soothing one, it helps me study, sleep, relax (not in that order, thank lord)

The 100 foot Journey
A movie revolving around a family of chefs that decide to move to a foreign country to restart their business after a tragic accident in their hometown. The movie is made on a small scale production, but i think that's what helps build the magic of this heartwarming film. Definitely a movie I've watched several times and will watch more!

The Dressmaker
I remember someone talked about this movie in a youtube video and if you know me, I'm always up for movie recommendations. This movie is so unique because NOTHING is predictable. It can be quite dark at times but that's what it's all about. It made me love Kate Winslet so much more, her acting was extraordinary.

Stranger Things
Who hasn't heard of this show? I'm completely obsessed. The first season, with only 8 episodes has got me tied to my seat, wanting more. The cast is so cute and talented and the plot line is very intriguing. Set in the 90s, makes everything better. I can't wait for the new season!

Gilmore Girls
I had never heard about this show until a few weeks ago when they announced their revival. Everyone seemed to be talking about it, and so I decided to give it ago. The story revolves around a mother, Lorelai, who got pregnant in her teens, and her daughter Rory, now 16 and their unbreakable best - friend- like bond.  The show I would say is quite anticlimactic, nothing big ever happens, but I think that's why I enjoy this show so much. After many years of watching shows like teen wolf and American Horror story, it's nice to just follow a story of 2 simple girls living ordinary lives. It gives me a sense of comfort watching it.
I'm currently on season 3, which I have reached quite quickly, considering the fact that there are around 22 episodes in each season and I only started around 2/3 weeks ago (this is what holidays are for), but I still have a long way to go as there are 7 seasons + the revival season. The story seems to be getting more interesting as it goes along (boy drama).

Thank you to all my friends and family for such a wonderful year, and also to those who take the time out to read, comment and follow my blog. It makes me immensely happy to see any feedback or comment I get on my posts and it really motivates me to keep creating and keep doing what I love.
Happy wishes for 2017!