Process of Introspection

A lots been going on, a lot has happened. 
I've grown, I've learned. 
I've felt, I've been destroyed.
I've loved, I've recovered.
I've found good in the world, in people, in places. 
I've learnt to be with myself. 
I've found what I enjoy doing and I've practiced my passions. 
I've experienced.
I'm happy. 

The past few months have been an absolute roller coaster and regardless of all the shit that's happened, that I would've been better off without, it's helped me grow and realise how much good there still is in the world. 

I've found joy in the littlest of things. 
I've bonded with people I hadn't even known of.
I've seen people and places in a new light. 

Currently my ultimate mood risers: 
1. Listening to upbeat Hindi songs on full volume and dancing the heck out
2. Talking and being in the company of the best people in my life 
3. Slow car drives with all windows down
4. Writing poetry in the spur of the moment and spilling my heart and soul out 
5. Making lil spontaneous and random videos 

Throughout all of this, sitting here right now, thinking back to the times before all this begun, it's just funny to see how things have changed. How life has played out and how this path has been laid and where it's leading to. 

I've never let myself enjoy the good times, in the fear that when the bad times approach again, it'll be harder for me to deal with it. But, it's what's caused me to be so unhappy in the first place. It's what had led me to make those "downs" so much worse for myself, cause then I didn't even have the "ups" to look forward to. 

I don't know what you'd call it, weather it's just progression, realisation or simply just growing up and moving the fuck on, but something has clicked in me recently and I've been floating. 

Thank you to those who've been in my life and taught me more about myself. Thank you to those who still are and provide the best support and company many could only dream of. Thank you to those who've stayed in the background, but always emerged when I've been needy and thank you to myself for letting me enjoy all of this.


For Caitlin, Aneesha, Aleena, Ishani, TJ, Nabilah, Celine, my family, and for all those who've always been there for me. 
I cherish all of you so incredibly much and am so very thankful to have you all by my side.
To each one of you; I love you. 

3 comments: